studio report no. 7
plateau
right now the work feels stable, consistent, slightly evolving, clean, a little naive.
impulsive urge for chaos.
tricky balance.
a kind of lull i haven’t felt before.
no doubt.
not boredom.
a stability that is quiet.
not a problem, just a condition.
really, this is a breakthrough and i need to continue to work it all out.
awareness of perceiving structure as boring or lacking.
this makes me feel vulnerable.
reminding myself to stop trying to squirm out of a vehicle
that i built to carry me into something new.
a new face, new language.
the winding fiery journey to get here has found a clearing.
attempting to grab this moment and live in this moment
before it changes. because it will. without my control.
realizations that i’m in less control than i think i am
even though this work is perceived as controlled.
protecting this little soft zone for a while.