getting almost too close.
reproducing the external version of myself to face it, really though.
manipulating to find what the self is or can do.
fear is here and glad to meet you (with a wobbly handshake).
the dog is The Cheech and takes many forms.
he exists as a protagonist-guide-disrupter-alter-ego.
a new portal is opening and i’m slowly stepping into it.
The Cheech is by my side in this journey, no longer alone.
drifting between forms.
ultra sense ride.
building a world with no resolution.
only constant transitional states of building, editing and turning.
feel like i’m always trying to jump over a wall, but
maybe all of this only exists in the moment of an infinite jump.
7 day sitting pilgrimage- did a meditation each day for 5min and then journaled 5min:
scanned energy body
attempted to stay open for images
searched for tensions and blocks
observed the circle of stuff in the mind
drawing with the body without direction
felt failure but learned that’s a part of it
opened up new approaches
drawings surprised me
today the studio is opened up and alive.
accepting challenges and achieved some small wins.
lot’s of work to do and excited to keep digging,
make pleasurable moves and stop fixing.
there are various ways to push through.